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Let me be clear, I did not purchase the electronic fart machine. It was a gift from a very classy lady who is about my vintage. She had one of her own. But she felt that I'd embrace the technology; I have. The thing about an electronic, remotely-controlled fart machine is that it's not much fun without friends around. Sure, Ellie was amused by the sounds for about five minutes. But, like all new things, the joy was fleeting. This morning, directing the care of two children and three dogs for ove
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